To my Sweetie Pea
Mar. 28th, 2011 12:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rhialtoHello Sweetie Pea, it is your birthday today. I'm thinking of you, every day, and I miss you so, so much. I have been thinking that I understand now how attractive it is to believe in an afterlife. I almost wished I believed in an afterlife... but I don't. And I know you didn't either. So we'll have to rely on time travel. And that by then, after so many miracle announcements that turned out to be extremely early research findings, they finally found a cure for cancer.
Not so long after you passed away, the company that indirectly paid for my job went bankrupt, and it was uncertain if and how long I would keep my job. That whole thing was totally unimportant to me. I just noticed that the previous time I unwillingly lost a girlfriend (albeit not quite so finally), I also lost my job not long after. But now, after the dust has settled, I'll have my job until the time my contract expires normally (in August).
Your last wish for me was to go and do something nice. I've tried, and partially succeeded. I have fallen back a lot on familiar things though. I've been in touch with Teresa, my Portuguese ex, and visited her twice. And I'm in touch with my local ex Yvonne, who is unfortunately in psychiatric care. I visit her every week for an hour.
I don't feel I'm up to having another relationship yet, even though I know you'd encourage it.
Your parents phone me every now and then. My French still isn't very good, so it is a bit of a one-sided conversation. But I guess they just want to hear my voice. They say they consider me their son, which is a great honour (and a bit of a burden). They sent me an expensive-looking watch for christmas, and I sent them a dvd-transcription of the video tape that was made of that practice therapy session. You don't speak very much on it, and you don't move much either, so as a film it is really boring, but it is a bit of you. For some reason, I find it very hard to recall how your voice sounded. I don't understand that, I would like to hear you speak in my memories.
I also occasionally email with Satchel, who has moved back into your house again. I like him; it is good to have trusted people there.
Take care, my sweetie pea, and may you adopt many more Minous.
Not so long after you passed away, the company that indirectly paid for my job went bankrupt, and it was uncertain if and how long I would keep my job. That whole thing was totally unimportant to me. I just noticed that the previous time I unwillingly lost a girlfriend (albeit not quite so finally), I also lost my job not long after. But now, after the dust has settled, I'll have my job until the time my contract expires normally (in August).
Your last wish for me was to go and do something nice. I've tried, and partially succeeded. I have fallen back a lot on familiar things though. I've been in touch with Teresa, my Portuguese ex, and visited her twice. And I'm in touch with my local ex Yvonne, who is unfortunately in psychiatric care. I visit her every week for an hour.
I don't feel I'm up to having another relationship yet, even though I know you'd encourage it.
Your parents phone me every now and then. My French still isn't very good, so it is a bit of a one-sided conversation. But I guess they just want to hear my voice. They say they consider me their son, which is a great honour (and a bit of a burden). They sent me an expensive-looking watch for christmas, and I sent them a dvd-transcription of the video tape that was made of that practice therapy session. You don't speak very much on it, and you don't move much either, so as a film it is really boring, but it is a bit of you. For some reason, I find it very hard to recall how your voice sounded. I don't understand that, I would like to hear you speak in my memories.
I also occasionally email with Satchel, who has moved back into your house again. I like him; it is good to have trusted people there.
Take care, my sweetie pea, and may you adopt many more Minous.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-30 08:59 am (UTC)